Due to the condition of my health, I am forced to stop doing almost everything... except manage my illness. I am very upset about this, but I can do nothing but surrender to the truth. The truth is that the daily maintenance of my body in it's current condition is a full time job. This means I will be taking a break from blogging both here and on Life in Neverwell.
I am going to try to work a little on Quintessia's Journey, if I can.
During the course of my 30 year oddessy with this amalgamation of immune disorder(s), ME/CFS, etc. (see my other blog, Life in Neverwell for clarification), I have tried everything to change my condition. I've done all the New Age "think yourself well" programs (which lead to me ignoring symptoms in an effort to will myself healthy. Silly of me. And dangerous.) I had extensive counseling and analysis, which showed this was not a psycho-somatic in origin. I've participated in experimental drug trials. I have spent $10,000's at an environmental clinic, purifying my body. I have met with authentic shamans, psychics, and gifted healers. I also became a Reiki Master in 2000. I have tried supplements, herbs and peculiar diets (I am NOT allergic to gluten). I have tried almost everything (within reason) to bring my body to wellness.
I feel it's important for people to realize that being chronically ill is not a failure on the part of the sick person. The idea that there is "something out there, but you just haven't found it" is also useless. No one wants to be this debilitated, to live a half-life. All of us with chronic illness are doing the best we can with what we have.
So.... in the spirit of living the truth, I am admitting that I need to withdraw from putting my attention anywhere, but on the needs of my poor sick body. It's the least I can do for it.
If I should improve or have a reprieve, I be back at this blog.
I want thank everyone for the good wishes, prayers and healing rituals. Those efforts are not lost in the bigger picture. Compassion never is lost, even if we don't see the result of our actions.
So sorry that you are struggling so much to be well, Debra. If light is love and healing, then I send you your very own sun.xx♥
ReplyDeleteI often wonder why we go through the things we go through. I still don't have the answers as to why some have so much more to bear than others. I hope there is a cure found soon for all that you suffer from, so that you can rejoin the blogger world - a world that very much benefits from your wisdom and kindness. Be well soon.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm really sorry to hear that your struggle has become so difficult. You are the wisest of souls, Debra, and if anyone could use mind stuff to correct body stuff, you're the one. So now it's our turn out here in blogland to help you by adding our energy to yours. Like Natalie, I send you sun. Twins suns. Triple suns. Quadruple suns. Please be well soon. We need you out here in weirdoland.
ReplyDeleteTrish
yes, we all do, send you suns, debra - many healing suns - and caring thoughts - be well soon - jenean
ReplyDeleteHope your mother's day was joyful!
ReplyDeleteYes be well Debra. I am sorry to hear of your pain. Focusing on yourself is the greatest thing you can do for your mind and body. I have appreciated all of your insights and hope that you find what you need to help your condition and reclaim your life. I wish you the very best and I wish you comfort. - Cole
ReplyDeleteVacation in my book means: exploration! Will send cool pics of...well, something.
ReplyDeleteTrish
Hope you're feeling better!
ReplyDeleteodd wv: hotism!
there is a beautiful book you may like, if you haven't read it already, that addresses just this conundrum ~ the detrimental attitudes in many new age circles around 'healing' & 'effort' versus the lived truth of chronic illness. the writer is a university professor who suffers a stroke & then cancer within 2 years; he depicts his journey through the maze of 'job's comforters', 'quick fix quacks', and the skewed judgmentalism all around illness.
ReplyDelete'At the Will of the Body'
by Arthur Frank
i'm glad i found your site :-)
to take the very best care of yourself is a holy thing
j
Happy 2012, Debra. Let's hope it's good for all of us!
ReplyDeleteSent you an email and haven't heard back. I hope you're okay!
ReplyDeleteI hope you will be able to return to us, to share your words of wisdom and mythic insights. I wish i had had more time to know you.
ReplyDelete