Sunday, December 27, 2009

Update on Paranormal Investigation in My Home

Pacific Paranormal Investigations (TAPS/Ghosthunters Family Member) has asked me to join their team!!! I feel honored and excited. The best Christmas present ever!

To read about the 2 investigations they completed on my home this year see: Part 1, Part 2,and Part 3.

Return of the Feminine and the World Soul: reading and internet synchronicity

Though I am a practitioner of the Tibetan Nyingma tradition, I still draw inspiration from a variety of mystical traditions. The time I spent in the company of Purna Das Baul - a Sufi- opened my eyes to the divine Feminine in a most amazing way. In Purna Das Bauls teaching's, a man develops a relationship with the Divine Mother ("Ma", or "Shakti") through developing the divine within: the Man of the Heart. Women are "Ma" embodied, by their very nature. This is the divine play of the longing for the Divine Other, the Beloved.

On Christmas Eve, I found myself reading The Return of the Feminine and the World Soul, by Llewellyn Vaughn-Lee, an American Sufi.
On page 52 was the following passage: "The feminine mysteries of love --the sanctity of longing, the receptivity of the heart that is always awake, waiting for her Beloved, for that moment when love comes secretly and sweetly-- need to be reclaimed and honored. Only through receptivity can we give birth to the divine as a living presence within ourselves and within out lives." I then put the book down for a short break.
I decided to play a game of Scrabble Blast on line. The letters are random, computer generated sequences. I was surprised as I recognized the first word I would highlight on the game board: beloveds.
After completing the game, I picked the book back up to resume reading on page 56. A sentence on the page popped out at me: "For example, the Internet is a powerful, living image of life's interconnected oneness." Llewellyn Vaughn-Lee is talking about how the Internet is reconfiguring our collective unconscious, allowing our unconscious to communicate with us in new and non-traditional ways.
This sequence of events certainly has me thinking about the internet in a whole new way.
UPDATE (12/28/2009)This morning I discovered an relevant post on a Jungian analyst Heide M. Kolb's blog. On 12/26/2009, She had written an entry entitled On Avatar and the Return of the Feminine- a Jungian Perspective. She talks about the archetypal imagery in the movie Avatar, highlighting the World Soul/Anima Mundi. She also points out the parallels between the Na'vi people in Avatar and their similarity with the image of Krishna. (Krishna is also involved in the play of the beloveds through the lila of Krishna and Radha.)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Word Patterns & Karma

My daughter and I like to play Scrabble. Playing a round this past week , we both noticed certain word patterns in the letters we were drawing out of the bag. While playing I was thinking about some posts on Trish and Rob MacGregor's site Synchronicity. They were noting the synchronicity in some of the word verifications for posting blog comments.
Jokingly, I said to Desiree "I wonder if there is such a thing as word karma.? Would each of us have different experiences with words due to our individual karma?". She said that it was good question, and she made her play on the board. I flashed back to one of my spiritual teachers telling me that we have repetitive patterns with names in our lives, due to karma. She had also explained that the names represent certain "energies". At my turn, I put 6 letters on the board, and reached in to the bag to replace the 6 letters I had used. I was very surprised to see the letters "D L PAGE E" staring back at me. This is my first 2 initials, last name, and an extra "E". I showed Desiree and she laughed said "I guess your question is answered! You should put this on your blog."

Saturday, December 19, 2009

"On intuitive and creative people..."

"Anyone who can confront a visionary experience consciously, distinguish it from physical reality, reflect upon it's inner meaning and perhaps give it artistic form removes it decisively from the realm of pathology."

- Jungian analyst Janet O. Dallett,
from her book Saturday's Child: Encounters with the Dark Gods
(The above photo was taken from behind my home with a Sony Cyber-shot. There were also two rainbows on each side of the sun at the same time. It appears to be some type of winged cat griffin.)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Holiday Sychronicity

On my birthday (December 7), my husband and I were at a department store picking up a few things. My daughter called on my cell phone to tell me that she would be at our home in 2 hours. We had no specific plans for the day, she just wanted to see me. As we were getting ready to pay for our purchases, Larry & I saw some beautiful bird Christmas ornaments on extreme mark-down. We made an "impulse purchase", and brought the bird ornaments home. On the drive home we talked about not having a tree for the past 6 years, and how we would like a small living tree to put the birds on. Shortly after arriving home, my daughter walks up to our doorway with a small beautiful potted pine tree! She said, "Mom, I saw this tree and I just had to bring it to you! I don't know why." I showed her the bird ornaments. We all laughed about the mother-child telepathy bond always being there (she's 24) as we decorated the tree.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Adventures in Ghost Hunting- in my own home! Part 3

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here. A photo of the black lacquer box is here.

During their first investigation of our condo, Pacific Paranormal Investigations (PPI) found at least 11 EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomena). To our relief, none of the EVP's are threatening. Most of the voices seem to want to be helpful, or playful. Most of the recorded EVPs were not heard by anyone when they were spoken.

* In the bedroom, an investigator was using a technique called provoking to try to get a response. He yelled at the spirits, accusing of them of being animal abusers (because I had reported that the cat was chasing shadow critters through the home). He said to them that they would probably abuse children if there were any in the house. EVP: (child's voice, shocked)"NO!" The investigator noted here that he heard something. This is the same room where the flashlight came on by itself.

* Twice during the night, recordings of an entity mimicking household noises were recorded. One was the sound of a cell phone on buzz mode, when no one was in the room. Another was caught when an investigator opened the bathroom pocket door, which squeaks. Right after the squeak there is a voice mimicking the squeak. This made us laugh when we heard it. There were also 2 EVPs of laughter.

Most of the EVPs were recorded on a digital recorder that was placed on or near the black lacquer box in our living area. Here are a few:

* When an investigator was using a handheld thermometer he requested that the spirits change the temperature. At this point the temperature drops from 72.3 down to 71.9. He says: "Keep tryin'- seventy-one point nine. Can you make it 70?" EVP:(female voice) "I can't".

* An investigator was setting up HI-8 camera, explaining out loud what he was doing. He stopped in mid sentence. EVP: (female voice) "Do what?"

* One clear (class B) EVP was caught when no one was in the room. EVP: (a rather scruffy sounding male voice) says: "karatsu". This EVP lead to some interesting research. The results were used during the second investigation.

Naturally, after viewing and listening to the PPI investigation results, I wanted to learn as much as possible about our home, and neighborhood. I discovered that our neighborhood was settled in the late 1800's and early 1900's. It was designed to be a Bohemian artist's colony. They even called it "God's Garden" because of the green hills and many trees. Our condominium complex was built in the early 1960's as a retirement community. There was no record of anyone dying in our condo, but there were a few deaths on the grounds over the years. None of the deaths appeared to be connected to the phenomena in our condo. The hill that our complex is built upon contains a rare vein of diorite. This substance was treasured by the ancient Egyptians, Mayans, as well as the builders of Stonehenge. It was used temple complexes, and statuary in ancient times. Perhaps this stone's magnetic qualities contribute to the conditions that allow spirits to interact with the human realm?

I then turned my attentions to the mysterious word "Karatsu". The lacquer box was from Japan, and is at least 40 years old. Karatsu is a city in Japan, but I couldn't find connection between the box, and the city. I then discovered that there is a trickster being in the Japanese Shinto belief system. His name is Karasu! This being resides in a small family shrine in each home. (The shrine traditionally has foxes on it, but cats are accepted as well.) He is an ancestor spirit whose totem is the crow, and he is a guardian of the dharma.  Coincidentally, ravens and crows happen to be extremely relevant in my family's life. I spoke with a friend of ours, who is very familiar with the Shinto practices and this is what he said about karasu: "You either have to ship him back to Japan, or you have to allow him a place in the home." I gave karasu an official place in the lacquer box (which may have already been his home, and how he came to be in our home). Our cats love the lacquer box, and often one of them will spend an entire afternoon curled up on it.

PPI came back for a second investigation in September of 2009. We all wanted to see what changes there may have been due to repairing the collapsed conduit (see part 2). They focused the equipment around the black lacquer box and the bedroom. At one point, 3 investigators communicated directly to karasu in the bedroom. They asked him if he would show them some tricks. When they asked him to turn on one particular flashlight, he turned on a different one. He did this 3 times with three different flashlights!
There was only one EVP found in the 2nd investigation: An investigator asked the spirits if they could change the numbers on the Geiger counter that he held. EVP: (scruffy male voice)"Paintbrush." Maybe he was joking?

Before the session in the bedroom, PPI filmed me doing one of my dharma practices: a meditation. During this time, the home was completely silent for over 30 minutes. Not one instrument registered a change.

At the conclusion of the second investigation, PPI labeled our home "Possible Paranormal Activity/Inconclusive". As with all their investigations, the evidence will remain open for interpretation based on what they learn in future investigations.

After the second investigation, I spoke to any other spirits that might be present. I told those who had been human and died that they needed to pass on. Any other type of being could stay if they would respect the family and protect the home. After this, things became much quieter. We still hear household noises mimicked: a favorite is imitating the doorbell when no one is there. (After being awakened twice in the wee hours of the morning, I told karasu that he can't be waking us up when we sleep unless it's an emergency. I explained I was too sick with my ME/CFIDS to handle it.) During a visit with my daughter, he imitated my daughter's cell phone.We both heard the "buzz" in her purse. She pulled the phone out, but there wasn't an incoming call. We both laughed when this happened.

I wonder about the dreams of fire...probably I was psychically (but unconsciously) aware of the fire hazard. Sometimes I wish that ESP could be more specific! I believe the ghost woman that awakened me with such urgency was kindly trying to warn me of the danger we were in with the fire hazard. I am thankful for her help, even if it startled me at the time. The shadow people my husband & I saw at the beginning of this adventure could have been the effect of the EMF field on our brains. One PPI investigator saw a shadow being during the first investigation, but it wasn't on any of the video footage. They believe the EMFs were affecting him. The shadow people haven't been seen since the conduit was replaced and the EMF field went back to normal readings.

Friday, December 4, 2009

The Black Lacquer Box

This box appears to be at the center of paranormal activity in our home.
Read the story here (part 1) and here (part 2).

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Aventures in Ghost Hunting- in my own home! Part 2 of 3

Read Part 1 here
As I've stated in my profile, I am psychic. I grew up in an isolated area in upstate New York, where this "gift" was considered evil. I've spent allot of my life conflicted about this "gift". I have paranormal experiences everyday, and there is a range of what is normal for me. What made our current circumstances so disturbing to me was that I couldn't "read" what was happening in a clear way. All in knew was this: My family was in danger. This is why we called Pacific Paranormal Investigations.

After we contacted PPI, they sent us a detailed questionnaire. They are very thorough in their data collection: they even want to know what medications you take. All of this is important in evaluating what you are experiencing. I told them I was a "haunted person", in the spirit of complete disclosure.

PPI arrived at our home on the evening of May 9th, 2009. Karl Sherlock, Brain Miller and their team immediately put my husband & I at ease- they really listened to our concerns. They were very professional and took many notes. They then proceeded to set up the home with monitoring equipment: DVR recorders, camcorders, digital tape recorders, EMF detectors, AC field detectors, thermometers, K-II meters, and many other devices.
Larry and I went to a neighbors home for the night. At approximately 3 am PPI called to inform us that the investigation was over. When we arrived at our condo, they immediately showed us that the floor was emanating a very high EMF field. (Safe readings are under 1.0 milliguass. Our floor read 30-50.0 milliguass!) This high field ran across the entire width of our home, and our couch was sitting directly on it.(When I had checked for EMF's, I didn't check the floor because there isn't a cellar.) No wonder we were having strange experiences! High EMF's affect the brain, as well as creating general malaise. For me, this was made worse by my electrical sensitivities and my auto-immune disorder (which often translates stimuli as trauma). PPI then left, assuring us that they would call us when they had analyzed all of their data.

At this point, we called another electrical contractor to our home. I showed them the high EMF's along the floor. They informed us that our mid-century condo probably had a collapsed conduit. They did some diagnostics that confirmed that the main electrical conduit for the entire 9 unit building was under the floor, and embedded in the concrete. Our unit was the last in the row. The shielding around the electrical wires had corroded and water had surrounded the live lines, pulling the electricity from the field for the entire building into our home. We were living in what is called a "fear cage". $5000, and 3 days later, new lines were threaded under the roof. The contractors asked my husband to go the the side of the building before they cut off the electricity to the old conduit. They showed him that all the meters in the wall were arcing (buzzing , popping with live electricity), and they said it was a miracle that there wasn't a fire! At this point we were very grateful for PPI and their equipment! As soon as the old conduit line was cut, and the new conduit was turned on the EMF's went down to 0.0 along the floor.
Repairing the electrical system solved many of our problems: my heart rate gradually went back to normal, the high pitch ringing, humming,& buzzing was gone, the shadow person and shadow critters were gone. My night terrors of our home catching fire did not recur. The ghost lady desperately trying to awaken me did not come back. Imagine our surprise when PPI contacted us to tell us that their investigations turned up anomalies!!!

This is what we learned at the "Reveal"( a professional term for sharing the evidence with the client):
*There were at least 11 EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomena), including what appeared to a female, a male, and a child.
*There was an incident of an investigator's flashlight coming on by itself in the bedroom, caught on DVR.
*The beings/spirits appeared to be intelligent: they interacted and responded to the investigators.
*A majority of the phenomena appeared to be centered around a black lacquer box (which we had purchased at a thrift store). See photo here.

In part 3 of this story I will share some of the EVP transcripts, and talk about the results of a second PPI investigation.
Read part 3 here.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Adventures in Ghost Hunting- in my own home! Part 1 of 3

In March 2009, my husband and I began to notice that strange things were happening in our home. There was a constant hum/buzz sound and a feeling of pressure in our ears & head while we were in the home. Our computers, cable equipment, phones (both land-line and cell) began to malfunction frequently. I began to hear a constant high pitch ringing in my ears which kept me awake. We assumed it was an electrical short. I have a tri field EMF detector, an older model given to me by my electric company in 2004. (My chronic illness includes electro-sensitivities.) I found high readings on one wall where our water heater and heating/AC controls are located. We decided to call our electric company. Over the course of 3 weeks, they sent 3 different techs to our home. They could find nothing to account for what we were experiencing. They all could hear the buzz/hum and one guy could hear the high pitch ring. The last tech asked if he could pray for us before he left! Larry (my husband) and I found this very odd... We then called out 3 separate contractors, one general and 2 electrical. The general contractor said he could find nothing wrong with wiring, etc. The 2 electrical contractors found nothing as well, but the last guy said he considered the EMF levels coming off the wall toxic. Later , a neighbor informed me that one of the electrical contractors told her our condo was haunted!
Six weeks into trouble shooting our home, Larry and I both started seeing a shadow person moving through our condo, into the hall, and disappearing into the bathroom.
Then came a series of visitations by "ghosts". A woman would awaken me in the night with a sense of urgency saying "Ma'am!". Nightmares were frequent : always about our home being on fire. Our cat,a Maine coon named Thomas, was chasing little shadow creatures through our home, and we both could see them! I was experiencing tachycardia, severe muscle cramps, head aches, inner ear pain, insomnia, and sun burn like rashes on my body. I went to my doctor and my inner ear had become infected. My resting heart rate was 99. She ran tests, but could not find a reason for the higher than normal heart rate. At this point I knew that I would probably have a serious physical collapse if I couldn't determine what was affecting our home.
I kept wondering: who would have the type of equipment we need to analyze our environment for causes to the disturbances? After careful research, we emailed a local organization: Pacific Paranormal Investigations. (They are part of the TAPS family. The Atlantic Paranormal Society are the Ghost Hunters on SYFY.) As it turns out, hiring PPI may have saved the lives of ourselves and our neighbors. The investigation also turned up some unexpected and intriguing results, which I will reveal in part 2 and 3.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Butterfly Bouquet: a vivid dream

During my life I have recognized a pattern in my dreaming. My dreams often bring guidance , synchronicity, and inspiration to the issues I am facing.
Recently, my husband and I were presented with an economic crisis. After mulling it over (worrying!) for several days, I had the following dream: My husband and I receive an delivery of a bouquet of flowers. As we unwrap the cellophane surrounding the flowers , live butterflies are released from bouquet the into the air. The colors of both the flowers and the butterflies are vivid, luscious, and striking- very surreal. In this dream world, it is a ritual that upon receiving these flowers, one must send a similar bouquet to someone else. As we are putting together a bouquet to send, I say to to my husband: "Make sure that the blooms have living butterflies, because the butterflies are the message." At this point I wake up. As I am coming to awareness I think to myself "This dream reminds me of the movie What Dreams May Come". I am filled with longing to paint the butterfly bouquet on canvas. (I am an artist, and used to love to paint. Sadly, I have been unable to paint due to severe loss of eyesight combined with neurological problems, due to my illness: ME.) I also feel compelled to immediately tell my husband the dream. After telling him, we discuss that we both feel strongly that the dream is a positive omen regarding our current crisis.
As the day went on, I could not shake the stunning image of the butterfly bouquet. In a phone conversation, I tell my close friend Christine (in PA) about the dream. She said "Just like that movie What Dreams May Come!" (We have never discussed this movie before.)
Our crisis hasn't been resolved yet, but I will update this blog as the magic of the dream unfolds.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Why I Became Involved in Health Care Reform

Getting involved in an organized movement is new to me. My daughter is struggling with receiving proper health care for her severe illnesses. I couldn't stand by and watch these struggles without trying to make a difference.
My 24 year old daughter has had a 4 year struggle with repeated , severe staph infections that are life threatening. She has been in the emergency room every 9o days (except for one 6 month period this past summer). She works full time, and is going to school full time. She has supported herself for 6 years. She has been unable to get a job that provides health care. This was okay for the first 2 years. Then she started having the severe, repeated staph infections. It wasn't until her last visit to an urgent care center that she was informed that the staph has "mutated to her to system and her immune system is attacking her own body." The Dr. told her that this is very serious, and that she needs to have consistent, regular medical care, because her life is being threatened. Unfortunately, this is not an option for her. Last year, after accumulating approximately $60,000 in medical bills in a 3 year period, she tried to file for bankruptcy. She doesn't have the $1600.00 to pay for this process. Unfortunately, we can't help her. We are struggling as well.
Last week she was informed that she may be expelled from her school because of repeated absences. She had two staph infections last month and was bedridden for over a week. If she is expelled, she will still owe the school $12,000 for student loans.
The bottom line here is this: we have a 24 year old with a medical condition, no health care option available, and mounting debt currently totaling $72,000. She is a tax paying American citizen. What is wrong with this picture?
Her story is not unique. Her story is an average American story at this point in our country's history. I believe that health care is a human right (not a privilege) and it should be available to every American. This is why I am now involved in Organizing for America.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Liminal Fruit

We all know the story of Persephone, Hades and the pomegranate seeds. One interpretation is that Persephone was tricked by Hades into eating the seed, forcing her to remain in the underworld one month for every seed she ate (6 or 7). Another version is that Persephone (the rebellious daughter) deliberately ate the fruit so she could spend time with Hades in the underworld, much to the chagrin of her mother Demeter. In all versions, we discover that the mediator between the Earth and the underworld is our old friend Hermes the trickster. In Wisdom tales the pomegranate represents desire, the binding force between spirit and matter. Persephone (as Wisdom herself) ate the fruit to bind her consciousness to the body. This is the Gnostic Sophia, lamenting her lost children (humanity). Descending into matter, she aspires to awaken them from their delusional sleepwalk... the dream we mistake for reality. Hermes, represents the nature of reality, a creation of our collective mind streams. This collective mind-stream is a very tricky place to navigate. Our consciousness keeps forgetting itself! It is the clinging to our desires that traps us.
Pretty potent stuff- this rich, red fruit that enables an immortal to move between realms.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

"In the end the only events of my life worth telling are those
when the imperishable world irrupted into this transitory one.
That is why I speak chiefly of inner experiences, amongst which
I include my dreams and visions."
C.G. Jung; Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Heartwarming Coincidence

In 1993, our second daughter, Laryssa, was born with a rare, spontaneous genetic mutation. (The probable cause of her condition was my own illness.) She was given 12 days to live, but she had other plans. She lived 1 year and 10 months. During our time with her, many wonderful people from the local hospice came to our home to help with her care. She died on 09/09/1995. And life went on...
Two years ago, my husband & I were trying to locate a doctor (under new health plan), who could treat my disorder. After a few false starts, I consulted with a neighbor (who is now my good friend) who worked in the administration of the largest hospital system in San Diego. She came to my home and made a phone call,asking one of the top people at the hospital "If you were very ill with a chronic immune dysfunction, who would you want to be your doctor?". A name was given to us. The Doctor's office was less that a mile from our home, and she was taking new patients. I set up an appointment. My husband accompanied me to the appointment, and sat with me in the office. When the doctor came in, she sat down reading my history. Then she stared to cry. She looked at us and said "I know you both. I worked with Laryssa as a volunteer." Suddenly I remembered her too, a young sweet woman who had lost her mother to cancer. We all cried and hugged. Then she said that she has a daughter now. I asked when she was born, and the doctor replied 09/09/1995. The very day Laryssa died! We were all amazed at the coincidences.
What a beautiful gift from the past!

A Word About this Blog

Due to my illness, my writing process may appear disjointed or fragmented. The things I write about may not be in sequence. There are times where my brain has problems with words (such as calling the dishwasher a washing machine). Often I have neurological problems which making typing difficult, for example, I may hit the caps lock key instead of the shift key. Then I have to retype everything. This makes things slow going for me.
The subject matter may hop around, because I will write it as it comes to me. If I wait another day, I may forget to write it at all.
And so, I ask the reader's forgiveness in advance...
If you want to read more about living with this illness check out other blog:
Life in Neverwell.

Friday, October 30, 2009

U2 at the Rose Bowl 10/25/2009

My husband, daughter, and a good friend were fortunate to see U2 at the Rose Bowl. I have been following their music since 1981. The first time I ever saw them was at the Cow Palace in San Francisco in 1985. I was pregnant for my daughter at the time. The the Rose Bowl show was my daughter's first time at a U2 show. The whole day was a massive event with 96,000 people and mid- 90's heat. For a person with ME (myalgic encephalmyelitis), this type of event is an endurance test that could set the body back into a full relapse. As a family, we all made the decision that it may well be worth the cost. (It's been 6 days since the show and i have been housebound, mostly on the couch since then.)
As a dharma student, this is a good way to see how well you apply your practices!
The day was grueling, but the show was fantastic. I will not go into commentary on it all, but I uploaded photos.