Halloween, My Grandmother's Birthday & Her Spirit

   Halloween was my grandmother Mary's birthday, so it became my favorite childhood holiday. It was a birthday she'd share with her best friend for life - Emily.

   We were very close when she died in my late 20's (late 1980's). We had made an agreement, and renewed the agreement many times: whoever died first would contact the other. The week before she died she called me (in San Diego) from her home in Toronto, Canada. "Debra, I want you to promise me that if I die, and you have made plans to be somewhere, or do something, don't cancel the plans. And don't bother sending flowers. I won't be there to see them anyway." (She had always felt that flower arrangements were a terrible waste of money.)  I was a little perplexed as to why she said these things, but I gave her my word. With her, if you gave your word you had to carry it through!

The next weekend, my husband and I had reservations to attend a Medieval Times event in Los Angeles on Saturday. On the Friday night before , my father called  and said "Your grandmother is dead."  No details... nothing. I was in a terrible  state of grief. I told my husband about my conversation with her the week before, and we agreed to attend the event, as I promised her.

     That night I fell into a fitful sleep. Suddenly, I found my self in a lucid dreaming state, and my grandmother was standing there. Don't ask me why, but I blurted out "Gram, why are you in a hospital gown?
" "Because I died in the hospital," she replied in a matter of fact way. At this point it was clear that our relationship was exactly the same... nothing had changed due to her new "condition". She waved her arm and was shown real-time scenes of my Aunt, Uncle and cousins in her condo in Toronto, Canada. They were sorting things things into boxes to keep, or give to the Salvation Army. Then the scene changed, and we were on a boat crossing a river. There was a beautiful glass or crystal city on an island in the distance. Halfway across the river, she said (in her no nonsense way); "This is as far as you can come with me." I started crying as she enfolded me in her arms.  I woke up in my room, smelling her rose perfume.


       We did go to Medieval Times, which is something my grandmother would have loved. She was very into all things British, especially the Queens. It was very hard for me to go through with that day. I kept crying. On Sunday, my cousin, whom I had seen in the vision, called to give me the Memorial details. I told her I wouldn't be attending. I also told her about my grandmother's visit and what I had seen her and her family doing in the vision. She gasped, and said that it was true... and they did give boxes of stuff to the Salvation Army.

        Time passed. Then, I started having repeated visits from my grandmother. She kept showing me the same scene: In a dresser drawer there were many envelopes and small boxes. She urgently wanted me to see something.
This was repeated periodically for over 11 years. I had no way of knowing where this dresser was. I knew it wasn't something my cousins or my father knew anything about. The only remaining relative in Canada was an uncle who was somewhat reclusive, and I had no way of contacting him.

       On February 29, 2000 (leap day), a small package arrived via US mail. It was postmarked Toronto, Canada. Inside was a small blue box containing silver medallion of Queen Elizabeth, commemorating the 1976 Montreal Olympics. There was a very sweet note from my elusive uncle. "You grandmother always wanted you to have this. You were loved very much."  I knew this would be the end of the repeated dream episodes of urgently searching through the drawer.
     Though those epidodes were over, Mary still visits me. I can feel her loving presence and  smell her rose perfume.


*The above painting was done by myself. Oil and acrylic on canvas. It was done tongue in cheek pointing out the tradition of La Mort in still-life painting. Very Halloweeny and Day of the Dead!

The Ordinary : Connecting with Nature From Your Own Doorstep

I feel it is so important to connect with nature, especially in your own neighborhood. Each neighborhood is it's own ecosystem, whether it's in the country, or in the city. I live in a densely populated urban area. I am constantly amazed by what appears... often literally on my front doorstep.

I also strongly feel that visionaries, artist, poets  and people who study shamanism and archetypal psychology need to interact with Earth and nature. This helps to ground the mind in reality: as it is. It's very important not to be caught in the ideal of something  (for example an "animal spirit messenger") without having practical knowledge of it's real nature. Often, messages from other dimensions or the spirit realm come to us in the ordinary setting of our everyday lives.

Here are some photos of the visitors to my own home area. (All photos copyright Debra L. Page.)

Bird Encounters

On Wednesday of this past week (08/25/2010), my husband and I drove an injured dove to a wildlife rescue center. The dove lives on our condo association property at the far end of our building.  It's mate has been staying near the place where I picked up the dove for the past few days. This little dove has been heavily on my mind, and I may not know for another week if it survived it's injury.

Yesterday, just past noon. I sat in my love seat near our front windowed wall which borders our partially enclosed patio. There is a roof that slopes down and 3 walls surrounding the patio.  You can only come onto the patio from one direction. I was sitting down to finish a book: The Portal; An Initiate's Journey into the Secret of Rennes-le-Chateau , by Patrice Chaplin. ( I was drawn to this book because of my interest in the  Reindeer Goddess. See my prior post here.) Before I could open the book, I was startled. A hawk had swooped under the roof over-hang, and landed on the back of patio chair. S/he sat there calmly staring at me through the wall length window. It was no more than 4 feet from me and level with my face. I was stunned. Then it turned, lifted off carefully, and glided down & out of our small patio space. I have not seen large birds on this patio before. It is very small,  9" by 9". The hawk definitely knew what it was doing: it didn't appear to be startled upon landing.

I wonder if what I was reading was part of the bigger picture in this encounter? Later that afternoon I read this passage in the book: 
"I talked about a french composer, Oliver Messiaen, and his music celebrating birds, his understanding of their existence as being partly in the realm of spirit." (page 312)
Also, the book is about ancient inter-dimensional doorways. I was sitting in a liminal space, inside looking outside.

Or could be part of the sequence of bird encounters I've had? In the past, this patio has been used  for hummingbird rescue and triage (see here) . The dove we drove to the wildlife rescue center was briefly on the patio table nestled in clean linens.

Does anyone have ideas what this encounter means?

*Above painting by Susan Seddon Boulet*

Reindeer, Queens & Crowns, Part II

This is a carving of 2 swimming reindeer, in Ivory. It is 13,000 years old. It was found in a cave shelter in Montastruc, Tar et Garoone, France. It is currently in the British Museum.
Ont he British Museum's site, they speculate:
"Was the sculpture a group totem, a shaman’s wand or the focal point of a story based on a journey in or between real and supernatural worlds?"

It's been awhile since I posted Part I of this article. I have been very sick and it's been a  difficult struggle. I thought I knew exactly what Part II of this post would say, but I had an uplifting dream recently that changed everything:
                                    Larry (my husband) and I moved into a beautiful cabin, which we had purchased from the prior owner. The cabin was made of beautiful , highly polished wood, and was filled with luminous light. The master bed was on low wooded pedestal. I found little drawers all around the pedestal. I opened one, and discovered a wonderful secret: the women who lived here before was a gifted writer, and she had left me some tiny rolled scrolls. I pick one up, and I see that it has "Rennes-le-Chateau written on it. I unroll the scroll. The author tells a story about a very precious friend of hers, a female reindeer. I feel filled with joy when I read about this secret."   Then I awaken and write the dream down.

                         Rennes-le-Chateau is a notorious place in France, filled with many mysteries and surrounded by myriad legends. The name is very curious: it literally translates from French into English as "Castle of the Reindeer".  Historically, the Magdalenian Period (approximately 16,000-10,000 BC) was also refereed to as the "Reindeer Age". The land that later became France had  reindeer herders since before the Magdalenian Period. There have been ancient reindeer artifacts (reindeer bones, and art depicting reindeer) found throughout France.

    Rennes-le-Chateau was made famous in recent times by Holy Blood Holy Grail, and the Da Vinci Code , which both indicate a hidden Goddess tradition.  Near Rennes-le-Chateau is Rennes-les-Bains (the Baths of the Reindeer), known for it's healing hot springs and legends of appearances of the Goddess. Often Rennes-le-Chateau is called the "Queen's Castle" and Rennes-le-Bains is called the "Queens Bath". "Queen" in French is "La Reine". How did "le rennes" and "la reine" become interchangeable? And is it a coincidence that a modern mystery regarding the return of the sacred feminine involves a place called Rennes-le-Chateau-, or Castle of the Reindeer? Quoting Elisabeth Van Buren in her curious volume on Renne-le-Chateau, Refuge of the Apolcalypse (page 177) :
"Rennes is the Goddess. Why is she portrayed as a reindeer?"
Very good question, and one that is not directly answered in her book.

I find clues to the answer to this question in many sources regarding the presence of an old reindeer/deer cult in Old Europe:

"The relationship between Finn Mac Cumail, his family, and the Irish Fiana, with the cervidae (antlered animals) is yet more proof that this very old clan was heir to the prehistoric occupants of Ireland from the era of the reindeer hunters." (Markale/1995)
Markale also repeatedly points out that the Druids and the Merlin tales come from the same tradition of the reindeer hunters. (Markale/1999).

Clarissa Pinkola Estes points out that: "In the sacrifice of the doe we see more of the hem of the old religion. The sacrifice of the deer was as ancient rite meant to release the deer's gentle yet bounding energy." (Estes/1992)

The myths of the Calleach (wise old hag) in Scotland are also found to be connected to an old deer goddess tradition (O Crualoich/2007, McHardy/2003). One of the oldest cultures in Scotland is the Picts, and they have reindeer artifacts, both art and bones. Reindeer were herded in ancient Scotland as well.

I've already quoted the works of Esther Jacobson and Linda Scherise Leonard in prior posts showing the Siberian clan connection to the Reindeer Goddess. I also talked about the possible connections of the Scythian, the Pazyrk, and the Bonpo to the ancient reindeer/deer cults. (click here, here, here, &  here)

For me, the above mentioned dream confirms the path I'm on. Perhaps the writer who gifts me is my own ancestor. My genetic family has ties to the Scottish Tribe of Mar, Pictish descendants . My genetic family are also descendants of the French duchy of Anjou.
I have more work to do, more digging to do.... and more dreaming to do.

To see Part I of this post, click here.


 Sources:
Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes: page 443 
The Quest for the Nine Maidens, by Stuart McHardy, page153
Merlin, Priest of Nature, by Jean Markale, page 162
Women of the Celts, by Jean Markale, pages 103-111
The Book of the Cailleach , by Gearoid O Crualaoich, pages 124-125
Refuge of the Apocalypse: Doorway to Other Dimensions, Rennes-les-Chateau, The Key, by Elizabeth Van Buren , page 177









 
















     

Reindeer, Queens & Crowns: Part 1

This crown is in Russia's State Hermitage Museum.  (click to view the page about it.)

           This crown is a beautiful 1st Century BCE artifact from Khokhlach Burial Mound, near Novocherkassk. The web page (see above) states that it was ritual piece used for fertility rites.
             In my search for information about the Reindeer Goddess after my personal experiences (See links below) with the image of a Reindeer Woman, I came across many beautiful images from archeology and art of Siberia, Mongolia, and Europe. This crown is one of the most stunning pieces I have seen yet. It contains many symbols of an ancient tradition.

        The crowned queen/goddess has a tree growing from her crown chakra. The tree represents Cosmic Tree/Axis Mundi the gives the empowered  shamaness/priestess access to the other realms and dimensions. This same cosmic tree is found even today on the Evenk shaman's drum. Jacobson/1992) The Evenk rhythmic drumming mimics the sound of the running reindeer. The reindeer is the Evnek magical steed that flies the shaman/shamanka to other dimensions (Leonard/1995). The Saami also believe that the female reindeer antlers (the largest of the herd) are one with the Cosmic Tree's branches (Leonard/1995).  Here, we see the correlation of the reindeer antlers with the cosmic Tree and Otherworld journeys.  The Cosmic Tree is also a symbol for subtle body anatomy: the spine is the trunk of the tree with the branches symbolizing the brain.

        A gold crown is symbolic of the luminosity of illumination. In the old religions, the "Illumined Ones" were the "Wise Ones", or the "Ones Who Knew". In art history we see a golden orb painted around the head of the Enlightened Ones to represent their spiritual attainment- also called their "glory".  The first physical crown created by man has been speculated to be a crown of antlers to represent the sage's illumination and access to the Cosmic World Tree. After mankind developed metallurgy, the crown was made of gold.  We see similar symbolism in the Kabbalah. After the destruction of Solomon's Temple, the "glory" no longer illuminated inner sanctum of the temple. Gradually, the Ark of the Covenant became dark, no longer communicating with the people. In the Kabbalistic teachings, the Sheckinah is the Glory. The Sacred Feminine, or the Shekinah Glory is in exile from the people and the land. Illumined living cannot return until the temple is rebuilt. The people MUST reconnect with the heart of wisdom (communicate with the Imaginal Realm).  The ruler of the people cannot truly wear the Crown of Glory (Wisdom) until the Shekinah Glory returns.


Part II with show us the connection between the sacred feminine, the queen (reine) and reindeer (renne).


*Synchronicity: As I was writing this blog post, my mail arrived. There was a package from  my paperback swap book order, containing 2 books.  Witness to the Fire: Creativity & the Veil of Addiction by Linda Schierese Leonard, whom I quote in the above blog post. In this book is the original purchase receipt from Moe's Bookstore on Telegraph in Berkeley for 4-30-1992. I was working in Berkeley in 1992 for a professor who lived just above Telegraph, and I was often in Moe's Bookstore.  The second book is , Six Myths of Our Time, Little Angels, Little Monsters, Beautiful Beasts and More by Marina Warner. I had never seen a copy of the book before. On the cover is a woman laying on the ground in a forest with antlers coming from her head.

Links to my other pasts on this subject:

Reindeer Goddess, Axis Mundi & Axis Shifts

Following Reindeer Goddess: an Inner Journey

Incubating Reindeer Goddess & Baby Blue

Reindeer Goddess & the Imaginal Realm

 

 

 

Becoming the Bridge

"If you're after gettin' the honey, don't go killin' all the bees .." - Joe Strummer

Indigenous peoples, artists, visionaries, poets, musicians, have been informing us (for quite some time now) our current cultural values indicate a loss of soul.  This idea is made even more apparent by seeing (with the heart) the images of the devastation caused by the Gulf Oil Disaster. For me, these images instill a sense of urgency within. How can we (whose hearts ache) do anything to help? Besides the obvious: raising money, calling government officials, raising awareness, we can take this opportunity to become the bridge.  We can commit to entering a soulful life. A soulful life is one that views all manifestation as part of a living energy field.  In his book The Spell of the Sensuous, David Abram calls this process "reinhabitation". People "have begun to apprentice themselves to their particular places, to the ecological regions they inhabit." (pg 271)  This may sound simple. It is simple, but it is not easy. Apprenticeship means having to work. This work is nothing less than altering the collective consciousness through deliberate action. We will be moving against the stream of materialism, consumerism, and the stream of our own culture.

       In my mind, I see that if we all start at home, in our own place, and reconnect with the living energy field around us, we could create miracles. If whole communities were living this way, from an organic movement (not contrived), it would naturally follow that events like the Gulf Oil Disaster wouldn't happen. Our values would be different, so our consumer habits would change. The living energy field is the Imaginal Realm (the world of Psyche) I've talked about in past posts. (see below)  According to Abram: "By acknowledging such links between the inner, psychological world and the perceptual terrain that surrounds us, we begin to turn inside-out,  loosening the psyche from it's confinement within a strictly human sphere,freeing sentience to return to the sensible world that contains us. Intelligence is no longer ours alone but it is a property of the earth; we are in it. of it, immersed in it's depths. And indeed each terrain,each ecology, seems to have it's own particular intelligence, it's unique vernacular of soil and leaf and sky." (pg 262)

     In making a commitment to become the bridge between our current exiled (from the heart) state and the Imaginal Realm, we become a conduit for healing. Communion with our own place in the "Now" creates community, in the truest sense of the word. Start at home, honoring the soul of the home: the local Spiritus Loci (spirit of the place). Offer up just one flower in a bud vase... and next? The world.

Past blog posts regarding these matters:

Reindeer Goddess, Axis Mundi & Axis Shifts

Liminal Living- Borderlanders

Nature, World Soul & Gulf Oil Spill

What Dark Alchemy is This?

Reindeer Goddess & the Imaginal Realm

Reindeer Goddess & the Imaginal Realm

Communicating with the anima mundi, Psyche, the Soul of the World--- whatever you call her, requires a different perception than our everyday way of seeing. To quote human ecologist Tom Cheetham; "To keep our internals open, we have to learn to read or write ourselves out of ourselves, and uncurl ourselves back into the world." (1) 

He also talks about "reading the world" (2), as the Sufi's have in their dialogue with  Khidir- the Green Man, the Angel of the Earth. Khidr, says Cheetham, is a "messenger from far beyond". (3)  This realm, this "beyond", is the Imaginal Realm or mundus imaginalis. "If we recognize the realm of the imaginal as the  mediating world between the purely physical and the purely spiritual, the  schism between them can begin to heal".(4)  The outward manifestation of the this schism manifests in the battle between technology and nature. (There isn't a clearer example of this schism than the current situation in the Gulf of Mexico. Man's titanic egoism (man acting as a god) has destroyed an ecosystem crucial to the Atlantic Ocean, perhaps crucial to the World, by building a proverbial Tower of Babylon.(5))

         My own experiences with the Reindeer Goddess seem to reflect Tom Cheetham's ideas.  She is from the Imaginal Realm. She is an aspect of the World Psyche which is the matrix for our own reality. We humans don't   "have a psyche" (she is not a "thing"),  we are immersed in Psyche. This is an living energy field. The modern world is in danger of losing it's very lifeline by disconnecting itself from our very source and matrix. This is what the prophecies (6) that the Reindeer Goddess left with the people of Lapland were warning us about. In those communications from the Reindeer Goddess, it is clearly stated that she is the "heartbeat of the world".(7) 

An ancient , primordial deity has reached out to modern humanity to help them help themselves. I am  not the only person she has contacted, and she is not the only primordial deity to contact the modern world. Anyone who hears the messages, and listens, enters upon journey of the heart. They become an alchemist, a poet, a visionary, a prophet, an ecologist, an artist, a musician -- one who speaks, and hears, the language of the heart. The journey of the heart is a path to authentic living, being real. This is not at the same as being literal. Literalism is materialism. Materialism is the worship of man as god: the worship of man-created things.  

I choose HEART. 

Notes:
Painting of Deer Woman by Susan Seddon Boulet

(1) Green Man, Earth Angel, by Tom Cheetham, page 113

(2) IBID, page 114

(3) IBID, page109

(4) IBID, page113

(5) my blog post here

(6) my blog post here

(7) IBID